Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmates
Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-dressers
Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
Cheer and clap loudly every time someoe brekas the silence w/ a bodily function
Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free."
Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"
Fill a balloon w/ creamed corn. Rush into the stall w/ your hand over your mouth
and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and
splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the
fettuccine alfredo you had for breakfast.
Fill up a large flask w/ Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall
walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"
Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the
toilet bowl from a height of 6 ft. Sigh relaxingly.
Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your
neighbor and say, "Peekaboo!"
Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!"
Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna
Say, "Damn, this water's cold."
Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
Say, "Interesting...more floaters than sinkers."
Say, "Now how did that get there?"
Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."
Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a
Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and
drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could
you kick that back over here please?"