How To Annoy Your Waiter
Eight hour lunch; two dollar tip.
Ask, "Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?"
After he describes each special, you shout, "Stinks!"
Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, "Minimum wage."
Insist that, before ordering, you be allowed to touch the London broil.
Tie tablecloth around neck and say, "You wouldn't charge Superman for dinner,
Every time you eat or drink, cough really hard.
Eat the check.